Kenyan Government Throws Adoption Process into Turmoil

We have an important prayer request.  We woke up this morning with some disturbing news from the President of Kenya, and we're not sure how it will affect us.  

As of today, Kenya has declared a stop to all foreign adoptions because of concerns of child trafficking.  

I've talked to our lawyer's office; nobody is really sure what this means.  Our lawyer thinks this includes our adoption, but the partner's understanding is that because we are Kenyan residents, and ours is a local adoption, that this won't affect us in the long run.  We just can't be sure of anything right now.  Nobody is sure of anything right now.

We knew going into this that there were no guarantees.  We totally believe God wanted us to love Chloe unconditionally and whole-heartedly trusting Him with our own hearts; this is what we are still doing.  Love takes risks, and it casts out fear; it does not bury its head in the sand, though.

We have been advised by our lawyer to just keep plugging along on all our paper work - so family, we still need those consent forms - there will be a lot of political backlash on the president because he's basically come out and yanked the licenses of all the lawyers and adoption agencies, accusing every children's home, lawyer, and adoption agency that handles international adoptions of child trafficking.  We have to just wait and see how things play out.  

It is possible, however, that in a few hours, Jedidah (the director of the children's home Chloe comes from) will call us and tell us she has to take Chloe back to the children's home for the time being.  We just don't know.

Please pray for our situation with Chloe.  We love her, and we will continue to love her.  Our total confidence is in the fact that God loves us, and He loves her.  Our desire is to be able to make her a permanent part of our family; we know that is a godly desire, but we also know we have to entrust our future and Chloe's future to God's perfect plan.  So, we go on in hope - through tears - through uncertainty - through prayer...

We are not the only family possible affected by this.  We have two very dear friend also in the process of adoption.  One family was just getting ready to set their court date; that will most likely be postponed for an undefined period of time. This is very difficult for them because they are planning to leave Kenya permanently in the next year or two.   Another family is infertile and had just been placed with a beautiful baby boy whom they love dearly.  Please pray for these families and other families stuck in this no-man's-land of political maneuvering.  .

You know, it's frustrating.  Child traffickers are not going to stop doing what they are doing.  There are over 2,000,000 abandoned and orphaned children in Kenya.  As a general rule, Kenyans don't adopt.  I said, general rule. This ruling is not going to help the children of Kenya.  There is so much sex trafficking and child trafficking done within the borders of Kenya - without the child ever leaving the country.  *Sigh*

Your prayers are coveted.  

Another Chloe Update

Hello everyone!

                I hope this finds you all doing well and truly basking in God’s love and grace!  We here in the Tate household have a daily reminder of this in the form of a little blessing named Chloe; she is a day-to-day, tangible parable of how God’s love for us reached out and embraced us while we were small, helpless, destitute.  As we hold her, talk to her, sing to her, and adore her, we are in awe that the Creator of the universe feels this way about His adopted children.  Zephaniah 3:16-17 says, “In that day it shall be said to Jerusalem:  ‘Do not fear; Zion, let not your hands be weak.  The LORD your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.’”

                

            As little Chloe sleeps in her bassinet just a few feet away from me, I am amazed at the beautiful analogy God has given us.  What parent hasn’t rejoiced over their little ones?  What parent hasn’t quieted their little ones with whispered words of love?  What parent hasn’t rocked their child and let their joy spill out into timeless lullabies?  As Roger and I look at Chloe, we are astounded that the same love we felt for the precious children to which we physically gave birth is also the love we now feel for this little, abandoned, helpless, destitute child.  And now this child who shares no common ancestry with us (not recent, anyway), no common culture, no common DNA, feels just like part of our family.  She is no longer abandoned, helpless, or destitute!  She is embraced, adored, accepted, and provided for.  This is how God feels about us!

               

          Scripture is rife with the imagery of adoption.  And now, God has called Roger and I to embark on a journey that is a picture of His love for us.  On November 6, 2014, Roger sat on a sofa in our living room with tears glistening in his eyes as he held this precious little Kenyan child.  He looked up at me and said, “I want to give myself a birthday present.  A new daughter.”  And so our journey has begun.  Our families are supportive as well as our children.  We’ve been in contact with our adoption agency, and our lawyer; everything looks positive.

                

         The adoption laws in Kenya are a little, well, ambiguous – much like many laws here.  There are basically two ways to adopt a Kenyan child.  Either an international adoption (a.k.a. “Hague” adoption), or a residential adoption (a.k.a.  “non-Hague” adoption).  In an international adoption, there would be no way we would be able to adopt Chloe because we already know her.  We would have to be placed with her sight-unseen after having been approved as adoptive parents.  The residential adoption, on the other hand, while it still discourages adoption of a child you already know, does not prohibit it.  Since we have been legal residents of Kenya for over 6 years now, we can adopt Chloe through this means.

                

         We have a long road ahead, and I’m sure it won’t be without obstacles and bumps along the way.  Probably even roller-coasters.  When a child is abandoned, a police report is filed.  If, after six months, no family has come to claim the child, then that child is available for adoption.  Chloe’s was filed October 21.  As we wait for her to be released for adoption, we will file paperwork to become approved adoptive parents.  Once these two things are finalized, we will be able to file for a court date.  There will be two court dates, and at the second one, the judge will either approve or reject the adoption.  Finally, after two years of being Chloe’s legal adoptive parents, the US will allow us to immigrate her and she will be able to become a legal citizen.  This two-year waiting period is basically a punishment the US levies against us for doing a Non-Hague adoption. 

                

          Meanwhile, as we wait for all this to happen, we will be able to keep Chloe with us as an agreement with Mercy Rescue Trust, the children’s home to which she was assigned.  Please pray for us as we go on this journey; it has unforeseeable twists and turns to be sure, and we are learning to walk step-by-step in faith in whole new ways. 

                

          We have already decided the name that will be on her adoption papers.  Chloe; this is the name given to her by the staff at the children’s home.  It comes from I Corinthians.  Thamani (Thuh-mah’-nee);   this is the Kiswahili word for precious, full of worth, full of value.  Nasimiyu (Nah-see-mee’-yu); this is the surname given by her birth-mother.  Tate; of course, this is our surname.  We know it’s a long handle for such a little sprout of a thing, but we want to honor all these people who have been a part of her life, and we hope that someday, it will give her a certain sense of identity (the mother’s surname indicates which tribe she is from). 

                

          Well, I guess that is all for now, except I should tell you that Chloe is growing beautifully!  At the ripe old gestational age of 37 weeks now, she is about the same exact size Emily was (at the same gestational age) when we brought her home from the hospital almost 20 years ago.  Chloe weighs 5.6 pounds now!

           I will keep you updated on what’s going on as things change and progress.  There is no guarantee things will turn out the way we are hoping, but we know God is in control, and we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is the path God wants us on right now. 

                

          God bless you all.  Remember who you are in Christ, and when you forget, think of Chloe.

Chloe Update

Just thought I'd write an update on little Chloe.  We've had her a week now, and she's quickly invaded our hearts.  Roger and I are remembering how tiring it is having a newborn, but we've fallen into a routine of taking turns for her night-time feedings (she has to be fed around-the-clock), and though we're finding ourselves to be very tired during the day, it's working out very well.

Jedidah, the head of the children's home (Mercy Rescue Trust in the UK) came to see Chloe yesterday, and she brought a scale to weigh her a little more  properly.  The hospital told Jedidah that Chloe weighed 2 kg (4.4 pounds) when they released her last Friday - but that was with heavy blankets.  When we weighed her yesterday, she came in at a whopping  1.46 kg.  That's just barely 3 pounds.  I also measured her.  She's 15 7/8 inches long and her head circumference is 29 1/2 cm.  She's really little.

Jedidah had the opportunity to share Chloe's story with me - at least, what she knows of it.  Chloe was brought to the hospital as soon as she was born by - we assume - her mother.  She checked into the hospital, then left her on the bed they were assigned to and disappeared.  This is so precious because  the mother took a huge risk getting her baby into the hospital; baby abandonment is punishable by imprisonment.  This mother loved her baby; she just had no means of being able to care for her obvious hospitalization needs.  

Another precious part of her story is that Chloe was actually cared for in the hospital - oh, not by the nurses; they don't really do much except very basic medical care.  Babies are not held much.  I don't think it's that they have hard hearts or don't care; I'm not sure exactly what the problem is.  Chloe shared an incubator with another premature baby.  The mother of that baby took pity on Chloe and cared for her just like she cared for her own baby.  That is so precious I'm about in tears as I tell you about it.  God seems to put Chloe in the path of special people who will care for her.

We were gifted with the wonderful opportunity of giving Chloe her official middle name.  The staff at the children's home chose her first name.  Jedidah has a baby name book, and she started reading down the list; when she got to Chloe, the staff decided they liked that one.  It is certainly NOT a Kenyan name.  So, I decided upon the Kenyan word for "Precious," "Valuable," "Of Great Worth."  Thamani. So, her name is officially Chloe Thamani.

We were having a difficult time feeding Chloe.  It was taking her over an hour to drink 1 ounce of formula!  I'm very thankful for valuable input and advice from a friend in the States who had a very preemie baby a few years ago. She taught me a new position in which to hold Chloe while feeding her; Chloe is now drinking the whole ounce in about 15 minutes, and it's taking her much less effort.   i think even in the last couple of days, we've seen some meat develop on Chloe's legs.

Chloe's first bath - sponge bath.  She did well, but I needed to keep her warm as I bathed her.  This was on Sunday this past week. I think she's filled out a bit more since then.

Never thought I'd be doing this again!

Thanks, Jennifer!

So, we continue to love this child day-by-day and follow in the steps of Christ day-by-day.  We've no idea where this journey will take us; I guess that's on a "need-to-know" basis, and God doesn't think we need to know just now.  

Thanks for your prayers on Chloe's behalf.  Keep praying; she's got a long way to go.

As Much as You do it unto the Least of These, You've Done it unto Me...

When we first moved to Kenya, it seemed I was writing updates all the time; there were so many new things happening to us every day.  But after 6 ½ years, living in Kenya mostly seems normal to me now; and my life is no more extra-ordinary than anyone else’s.  Yes, we have frequent electrical outages (in the last week, I think we’ve had a total of 48 – 56 hours of electricity, and many of the missionaries were out of water for several days, even a week).  Yes, travel is, well, a challenge.  Yes, it is difficult to work with a culture that thinks totally differently than we do.  But this stuff doesn’t seem like anything to write home about.  It’s just a part of living here, and we’ve all learned to cope with it.  Yes, we have frustrations – but so does everyone, everywhere; we’re no different in that respect.

It may sound odd coming from a missionary who sold everything and moved to Africa, but I have recently found myself praying for God to move me beyond my comfort zone and into a life that requires deeper faith.   I have long believed one of the reasons we don’t think we see God moving in amazing ways is because everything we do, we do in our own strength.  We calculate, plan, take pros and cons into consideration, take personality tests to see which ministry we might be naturally good at…and only then do we think about stepping out; we throw the words, “in faith” at the end because we know we’re supposed to.  But, why does God need to move miraculously when we’ve got all the bases covered (or at least, think we do)? 

So, I’ve been praying for God to move me beyond this.  It’s a scary prayer. 

In addition to this, God brought a couple of books my way – both by Francis Chan.  One is called The Forgotten God, and the other is called Crazy Love.  At the same time I was reading these books, I was also carefully reading through the Old Testament book of Isaiah.  It was amazing how beautifully what I was reading from Francis Chan dove-tailed with what I was reading in Isaiah, and how altogether, they were working in my heart on the very issues I had been praying about. 

On Wednesday of this past week, I was reading in Crazy Love, and Francis Chan was talking about the two greatest commandments: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength; and love your neighbor as yourself.  As Christians, we are all very familiar with this; we take it for granted.  But it really hit me in a fresh way when he used his own daughter as an example.  If his own daughter were homeless, destitute, hungry, how would he want fellow Christians to minister to his daughter?  Then, he also talked about what Jesus said:  “As you do unto the least of these, you have done unto me.”  Take a moment and let that sink in.  These are some hard hitting passages – ones that, in truth, we like to gloss over and/or spiritualize.  Ones of which we like to think “I’m doing enough of this.”

I am no “Super-saint.” I know many people think missionaries are; we’re not.  We’re just regular people like everyone else.  We have fears and struggles and sins to deal with.  We like comfort, security, and roots; and we like to be in control of our circumstances just as much (sometimes more) as anyone.  But all this really stirred in my heart causing me to asked God to help me not just talk about sharing the love of Christ – but to really share the love of Christ.  To really love others as myself, looking out for their best interests.  To make me flexible (when I am flexible, you know it’s a “God” thing and not a “me” thing).

Thursday, I went to our missionary women’s Bible study.  I walked in and the women were talking about a children’s home just down the street.  A lovely young British lady runs it; her name is Jedidah.  Jedidah had just called one of my friends to ask if she was interested in taking in a preemie baby girl.  My friend has a new born baby they are in the process of adopting, so she couldn’t take her.  Suddenly, I found myself saying, “I wonder what Roger would say to us taking her?”  Here I am, Lord.  Send me.  That's what Isaiah the Prophet said.  I called Roger, and he wanted to know if it would be truly helpful to Jedidah for us to take the little girl for a while.  He asked me to find out, then call him back a little later; I think he wanted to pray about it.  Jedidah said it would be an answer to prayer.  When I told Roger, he said, “Call her; tell her we’ll do it.”

Here’s one of the neat things about this.  Just as Jedidah was getting my text message, she had been praying, asking God how she was going to handle having a preemie who needed 24hr personal care, when one of her other small girls was getting discharged from the hospital after having a collapsed lung.  She thought about coming to Bible study and asking us ladies if any of us would be willing to help, but then she couldn’t come.  It was at the moment of this prayer that she received my text message.  God certainly works in mysterious ways.

So, there is a new little girl in our household.  She is one month old, and her name is Chloe. She was born on September 17^th, and she weighs barely 3.3 pounds – not at birth, right now.  She’s itty-bitty.  She’s been on a feeding tube, so I’ve been teaching her to use a bottle.  I had to start by feeding her through a syringe; this is preemie care in Kenya.  I’m not sure how long we’ll have her, but it looks like it will be about 4 weeks.  

Roger said he's seen toothpicks bigger around than her fingers.

These pictures don't even really give an accurate portrayal of how tiny she is.

Chloe in the doll cradle with a doll made by Aunt Lee Tate

The bottle is bigger than her head!  Her head, by the way, fits in the palm of my hand.

There are no preemie diapers in Kitale; these are newborn size.

Roger is so great with her!

The boys captivated by this tiny little girl :-)

Necessity is indeed the mother of invention.  Need a mosquito net?  Just find a lace curtain!

Her favorite sleeping position - hands right up by her face.

Josiah said, "Mom, it's not that I mind holding her, I'm just so afraid of dropping her!"

We had nothing for baby care, so Chloe is sleeping in a little doll cradle Roger's dad made for Emily years ago.  For mosquito netting, I found a piece of lace curtain that works perfectly.  Our biggest challenge has been just getting her to eat with a bottle, and keeping her body temperature up.  I'm not sure what her gestational age was at the time of birth - I'm guessing anywhere from 28 - 32 weeks - so, we have to be careful of drafts and hypothermia.  The poor child has not an ounce of fat on her; her skin hangs on her as if waiting for her to grow into it.

Please be praying for us and for little Chloe.  For us, pray for wisdom, strength, courage.  For Chloe, pray for her precious little body to grow healthy and strong.  Also, pray for us that this will just be our first step of faith; oh how I long to be faith filled – totally confident in God’s love and provision for me so that I can step out and willing give these things to others as He leads me.  It’s a journey for each of us, isn’t it?

The Open Door - A Mother's View

I stood silently as I watched her go through the security check point.  There was so much to say, but I could only hope she knew my heart.  She wasn’t a little girl anymore; yet, she was still my little girl.  She carried herself with a quiet confidence that I new held at least a bit of false bravado as part of the recipe.  Others would not know this about her.  What would she do without us?

What would we do without her?  Only God knew.  God knew.

If she knew I was watching, waiting for her to clear security and disappear from view, she hid it; she never looked back.  I wasn’t hurt; I knew her too well.  She needed to have it like this – a quick good-bye with tears held in check.  Well, almost in check.  I tried; for her sake, I really did try.  I couldn’t quite succeed, but I didn’t worry too much about it; she knew me too well to think a few tears wouldn’t escape the confines of my lashes – the clutches of my will.

She knew I needed to have it like this – to have a trace of my emotions slip through.

I continued watching as she slipped off her shoes, almost forgot to remove her watch, placed her backpack on the conveyor belt, removed her lap-top from its case and placed it in a separate basket, and stepped into the dreaded x-ray machine, raising her arms over her head as it scanned.  She did it like a pro – as if she had done it a myriad of times before…which of course, she had.  Where had the little girl gone who needed us to tell her how to do this?  She was gone…

…and yet, somehow not gone.

I walked to where I would be able to see her pass the final barrier that protected the travelers from the onlookers – the stayers.  I could not turn away; I needed to keep my gaze on her until she slipped irrevocably from my sight, from my reach.  I let the tears fall as she stepped into the corridor and purposefully walked, head held high and back rigid, through the open door.

Through the open door.

I knew the significance of that.  I wondered if she thought about it, too.  I can’t imagine her not; it was she who had taught it to me.  She disappeared from sight, and yet I stood a moment longer as if her presence had not yet totally slipped from the room and I was waiting for the last vestiges of her to dissipate. My mother’s heart had not changed, but in that moment my role changed drastically and permanently.  I felt it keenly, and it cut deeply.  She was leaving me.

I was leaving her.

Eight thousand miles and four years would not provide much opportunity to actively be a part of her life, but it couldn’t change who I was…who she was…who we were together.  I closed my eyes as her father took my hand and led me away.

Her FATHER took my hand and led me away.

They wrapped their arms around me to love me, to comfort me, to support me.  We approached the airport exit and he reached to gentlemanly open the door for me.  He said no words with his lips, but through his eyes his heart spoke volumes.  “I know,” it said to me. “I know.  I feel it, too.  It hurts, but we’ll get through this together.  She’ll be okay.”

HE said no audible words, but through my spirit HE whispered directly to my heart.

“It’s okay, I’ve got her,” HE said to me.  “I love her even more than you do.  She was mine before she was yours; I will never leave her or forsake her – or you. Trust ME.”  And I knew…

...as they opened the door...and I walked through...

...she hadn't walked through that door alone.