Growing up...

September finds me thinking a bit nostalgically - it's my birthday month (and my mom's...and Chloe's). This year, this week in fact, I will turn 44. I don't feel 44...or maybe more accurately, I don't feel like I should be 44. Actually, I often feel like I still need to grow up. Maybe it's because I was the baby of my family by 6 years (and the only girl). Maybe it's because I got married when I was 20 (I've been married more than half of my life now...to the same man :-));  I've never really been independent.  On the other hand,  I have been married 23 1/2 years...I had to grow up at least some to manage that...

We've been in East Africa almost 8 years now; I think I've done most of my growing up here...well, a lot of it, anyway. Kenya will force that on you, somewhat. I've had to come to terms with hard truths here...ugly ones - truths about human nature and living in relationship with difficult people, about desperation and destitution...hate, discrimination, abandonment...hopelessness...man's inhumanity to man (yeah, I know; that's in America, too. Live here for 2 years and then lets talk...) I've had to learn hard truths about myself as well - that I am more like "the worst of these" than unlike them.

But there are also beautiful truths I never would have known apart from the difficulty and ugliness. Here are just a few:

*I'm learning there are beautiful people to be found everywhere, in every culture. We may have our differences, disagreements, and different ways of looking at and interpreting the world; but I've met some of the most wonderful people living here: Kalinjins, Luyahs, Kikuyus, Kisiis, Bukusus, Luos, Pakistani Muslims, Indian Hindus, Christians from all over North America, Europe, and Asia (ashamedly, I grew up thinking the only good Christians were in America), as well as non-Christians from all over the globe...really good, precious people. People who've earned my respect.**

*I'm learning I often interpret the Bible through the lens of my culture when really what I need to do is interpret my culture through the lens of the Bible.

*I'm learning it is possible to live contentedly in the midst of sacrifice. I've met Christians who daily and joyfully sacrifice so much more than I could ever dream...not out of duty to appease some unpredictable god, but out of love for the God of Love as well as for the people He loves.

*I'm learning that God's time-table and mine usually are NOT the same...but that His is generational and eternal in perspective as opposed to mine which is usually centered on, well, me...and the here and now.

*I'm learning the objective is faithfulness, not "success." Or maybe that faithfulness is the success.

*I'm learning it's okay to laugh at myself...and on top of that, it's okay if others laugh, too (Oh, yes; you either learn this lesson in East Africa or live in irritation and bitterness!).

*I'm learning that my "rootedness" cannot be found in any thing I own, in any place I live, in any ministry I do, or in any person I love. It must rather be found in my place in Christ, for that's the only thing I have that is guaranteed.

*I'm learning it's more important to love people than to need people.

*I'm learning God often gives me more than I can bear; that it's okay to be stretched beyond my strength to endure because it's not beyond God's strength. Scary lesson.

*I'm learning that God richly blesses and uses the ministries of people with whom I have theological, biblical, social, and political disagreements. This is another one of those, "I'm ashamed" kind of lessons. Oh, my...the pride...

*I'm learning that I can trust God's Word...even when I don't get it.

*I'm learning that I can trust those I love into God's hands...even when He walks them through times of suffering and/or rebellion.

*I'm learning it's okay to invest time and energy in friendships even though I will have to say "good-bye."

*I'm learning that my beloved country is not the answer to the world's problems (and in fact, is often part of the world's problems)...Christ is. And not Christ dressed up as an American, either.

*I'm learning it's okay to change your game plan in the middle of the quarter (you'd think homeschooling would have taught me that...)

*I'm learning it's okay to risk much for love.

*I'm learning that making sure I have all my 'needs' met isn't really living. Instead, loving to the point of sacrificing my 'needs'...that is living.

*I'm learning that education, ministry, "finding my purpose," having leisure time, vacations, and retirement are all momentary things...children are eternal.

*I'm learning it's okay to give myself away for things that will never die.

*I'm learning I have a whole heck of a lot to learn...

**People often accuse Christians of thinking they are better, more moral, than everyone else. Unfortunately, those accusations are far too often on target. That, however, is the failure of human nature, not of Christianity. Actually, the Bible teaches two complimentary truths: 1. Man is made in the image of God (Gen. 1 - 2) and is capable of doing good and moral things (Romans 2:14-15). In that sense, any man or woman can be a "good" man or woman. 2. On the other hand, the Bible also says that there is NONE good. (Romans 3:9-18) In this sense, human kind is being compared to the holiness of God - and found completely lacking in our very essence (Romans 1). Therefore, Christianity isn't about anyone or any group of people being better than another; it's about all of us "falling short of the glory of God," failing to worship Him as God, and being entirely incapable of pleasing Him or of gaining His favor. While we were in this condition, however, God sent His Son to live a perfect life on our behalf; to take the punishment of our failure, sin, and rebellion; to purchase our freedom from the slavery of sin by spilling His blood and dying on a cross; and to raise from the dead in victory over sin and death to give us the hope of eternal life (Romans 5). Christianity says we are all on the same level playing field...all in the same boat...without hope and in need of rescue; our goodness, social status, tribe, education, wealth, or religion are not enough - don't even come close - to getting us safely to the goal or the shore (Philippians 3:7-11). Our pride doesn't like this...but our pride is the main fruit of our problem. However, becoming a Christian doesn't make us "better" than anyone else, either. The Apostle Paul said in the first chapter of his letter to the Christians in Rome, "I am a debtor to the Jew and the Greek; to the wise and to the unwise." Because Paul knew first hand the power of the Good News of Jesus Christ to forgive him and change him, and put him in an intimate relationship with God, he felt a great responsibility to share this same power with others. This is why Christians share their faith.